I got my mind made up...
"NO!"
I woke up, breathless and agitated. It took me a minute to understand what was happening: I had fallen asleep on the tree, dreaming of the past while the sun reached its higher, and now it was already prepared to start its descent from the heavens.
I didn't remember much of what I had been dreaming, I just felt an unsettling anxiousness, like there was something in the back of my mind that wanted out but was unable to find its way into my consciousness.
My stomach sank. I didn't think I could handle one more worry at the time, so I just tried to focus on the more pressing matter, although I had no idea what to do... I was starting to feel sick...
I arrived late to Orfi's house, of course. He had been working non-stop with the help of another friend, and I just watched. I sat in the corner, trying to look amused by their talk, and for a little while, it was bliss to divert my thoughts and laugh and laugh and laugh. A lot.
But then night came, the friend left, work paused and laughter stopped. I started to shiver.
"Do you really want to do it?" Orfi studied me carefully. "Is it really that important?
"I need to know", my voice trembled. "I have to know. If I don't, I won't understand and therefore, I won't be able to..." ...to keep my sanity? To live? Accurate but way too dramatic. I sighed. "I cannot keep pretending and I cannot ignore it", I finally said.
"You have to do it soon, then", Orfi sentenced. "You won't be able to pretend much longer."
"I know, but I don't know how...", my stomach shrank. "I don't know!"
I tried to steady my voice. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream. Instead, I just kept silent.
Orfi stood up and left for the other room. I could hear him talking to someone but I didn't pay attention. After a while, he returned and handed me his holo-stone.
"Here", he said and then, he left again.
I turned the holo-stone on, its bluish light blinking.
"Hello?"
"Oh, hi! I'm Orfi's sister. He told me you needed help with something, so... What can I do for you?"
I was not expecting that at all. Orfi's sister is a mind healer but I had never met her before, let alone talked to her. My voice shook because my body was unable to keep steady while I tried to explain my predicament as condensed as possible. My mind was running so fast but my thoughts were scrambled, giving me the feeling that I was walking in the fog, blindly trying to reach a destination I knew was going to hurt.
Slowly but surely, while she listened, asked some questions and gave some advice, the fog lifted and I found clarity. In response, my body recovered its normal temperature and stopped shaking, my voice steadied and I could breathe normally again.
Determination flowed through my veins.
I knew what I had to do and how.
My stomach sank. I didn't think I could handle one more worry at the time, so I just tried to focus on the more pressing matter, although I had no idea what to do... I was starting to feel sick...
I arrived late to Orfi's house, of course. He had been working non-stop with the help of another friend, and I just watched. I sat in the corner, trying to look amused by their talk, and for a little while, it was bliss to divert my thoughts and laugh and laugh and laugh. A lot.
But then night came, the friend left, work paused and laughter stopped. I started to shiver.
"Do you really want to do it?" Orfi studied me carefully. "Is it really that important?
"I need to know", my voice trembled. "I have to know. If I don't, I won't understand and therefore, I won't be able to..." ...to keep my sanity? To live? Accurate but way too dramatic. I sighed. "I cannot keep pretending and I cannot ignore it", I finally said.
"You have to do it soon, then", Orfi sentenced. "You won't be able to pretend much longer."
"I know, but I don't know how...", my stomach shrank. "I don't know!"
I tried to steady my voice. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream. Instead, I just kept silent.
Orfi stood up and left for the other room. I could hear him talking to someone but I didn't pay attention. After a while, he returned and handed me his holo-stone.
"Here", he said and then, he left again.
I turned the holo-stone on, its bluish light blinking.
"Hello?"
"Oh, hi! I'm Orfi's sister. He told me you needed help with something, so... What can I do for you?"
I was not expecting that at all. Orfi's sister is a mind healer but I had never met her before, let alone talked to her. My voice shook because my body was unable to keep steady while I tried to explain my predicament as condensed as possible. My mind was running so fast but my thoughts were scrambled, giving me the feeling that I was walking in the fog, blindly trying to reach a destination I knew was going to hurt.
Slowly but surely, while she listened, asked some questions and gave some advice, the fog lifted and I found clarity. In response, my body recovered its normal temperature and stopped shaking, my voice steadied and I could breathe normally again.
Determination flowed through my veins.
I knew what I had to do and how.
"And I can't let go...
'til the love runs out..."
'til the love runs out..."
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