Relapse

I thought I was out of the woods... But I'm not...

I miss him... Not the person he turned out to be in the end but the person he was in the beginning... 

And I'm aware I did so many things wrong but I think I learned... Or maybe not... 

I feel so useless and alone and hurt and lost...

I feel I don't deserve anything and that I'm just bringing down everyone with me...

They will be better without me...

I just have to disappear... Stop asking for help... Stop... Just stop...

Just be quiet... Just be still... Fake, pretend, smile...

Everything will be alright at some point...

I just have to get past this... Just have to survive, but...

Would it be worth it...?

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