Abandoned

 I cried a lot after the meeting...

For a moment, I even thought I was gonna throw up... that's how intense the crying was, how hurt I felt, how abandoned...

The moment when I felt the most pain was when I was talking to J about what we discussed in the meeting and he told me he felt a connection with me... 

I instantly remembered that the first person to tell me about feeling an instant connection to me was him... What about that? Was that all talk? Is that not the case anymore? Doesn't it matter now? 

I just couldn't manage... It just hurt so much... And I cried and cried and cried until I couldn't breathe anymore... 

I cannot do this anymore...

Please...

Please!!

Come back to me!

Please, be ok!!

Please... Just, please... Don't leave me...

Or...

Please, just rip my heart out once and for all and be done with it...

This wait is killing me!

Just... 

I just...

I just can't...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I should disappear...

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