Like... I know...
I know he's right
I knew it... Just didn't want to rationalize it...
Or maybe the thing that bothers me the most is that I didn't know it.
And it fucking hurts
Hurts like hell...
Because that makes complete sense
I'm not special
He just needed someone... Anyone would have made it
But for me, it was only him...
And I hate me for it
It didn't add up that he "liked" me
But now it makes sense...
Of course I'm not the only one
Again
Again
Again
Again
I'm never the only one
What I'm asking for is just an illusion
It's just impossible
People don't work like that
But it's my own fault for believing I could be...
It's my own fault for lacking the basic knowledge of human interaction
I know
I should have known from the beginning
I fucking hate myself for that
I'm always my worst enemy
But I always try to hide it
I fucking hate myself for this
And I have to pretend like I knew,
I have to pretend that I'm ok with that
And it kills me
And I fucking hate that feeling
Fucking hate it
Fucking hate it
Fucking hate myself
It's always my fucking fault
I should have killed myself when I had the time
Godammit!!
Why didn't I do it?
I just want the pain to stop
The hate
The feeling of being hurt...
Just take it all away, already
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