And suddenly, just like that, he writes again....

And I'm alive again...

He got me wrapped around his fingers, and most of the time I don't mind relinquishing control to him... 

I can fake not being in control

I can make it seem like I'm completely submitted to his will, while I know I am in control of the situation, of myself...

And then, like a thunder striking, I saw...

I saw I had lost...

By trying to keep him interested, I betrayed my own will...

And I didn't realize it until it was too late...

I lost at my own game.

By trying to seduce him, I ended up giving him everything I swore to myself I wouldn't do unless I got something of the same value in return...

The worst part wasn't even that.

The worst part is that I didn't keep quiet.

Of course I had to make a mess of things even more by telling him I was mad at myself for that.

Why didn't I just shut up and keep it to myself?

Troy caught fire again, no surprises there.


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