Fantasy

After reading something online, I've become somewhat convinced that him is not telling me the truth... 

And it's ok, really... I didn't want it to be that way, specially after telling him that I don't care for nothing but our sexting if that was all he wanted from me... 

So, if after swearing he wanted more than that he is still trying to deceive me, fine.. I'll just have to thread carefully, or not at all...

Sometimes I feel like I should end it before we get more entangled...

But then, he writes and I like our interactions...

However, I don't think he is as interested as he supposedly was in the beginning, and I'm disappointed... Maybe all my drama finally wore him out, and maybe I should had never agreed to our relationship, it's what my anxiety tells me... I should have waited patiently for him to be back to me, that's where my heart is really at...

No matter what, it always feels as if I'm the only one committed, the only one that takes it seriously... 

As if I'm losing myself in the fantasy... Just by myself...